The Disappearing Act (If It Happens Very Early On)


In light of what has transpired today, as I made an impromptu appearance at my company’s corporate office, I had to dig deeper – which is the purpose of this post.

Last week, when I was there – a geeky-turned-semi-cute guy, who was introduced by his hockey jock-friend to me some months earlier, asked me the proverbial question:

“Would you like to have lunch sometime?”

Thinking not much of it I replied: “Sure”– we all gotta eat, and I felt like I’d like to talk to him as a person, not a cog in the corporate machine.

Today, almost a week later – he bumped into me with a “hey”.  C’est sa, mes amis.  Se tutto;  non piu.   He saw me but would no more acknowledge me.  I couldn’t stop thinking what’s this all about?  Dude, I don’t even give a piss about you yet.  Which, after reading some very very helpful relationships books (Sherry Argov – she’s awesome and my personal savior), that lead me to [silently] ask a question:

Dude, what is this about?

I mean, I had some short-lived fires burning out, but this guy ‘dumped’ me after I said ‘sure’ [translates to a guy: yes please, I want to marry you right after] to a possible lunch between coworkers.  The situation to me was so childish and ridiculous that (eeehhh, I must confess here – I suspect he thought he was not exactly in “my league”, as his tall dark and handsome (another ****) had been trying to chat with me); unfortunately I don’t care for frat-hockey player guys, Lol.”


I’ve had relationships fizzle out over months, this one guy was crazy about me for 3 full weeks, and THIS present guy – a promise of a lunch, then a weak later – he Michael Boltoned (as in , he bolted).    Since there are no romantic/emotional ties from either sides what’s so ever, I can only conclude that the first and foremost thing men seek from women is AFFIRMATION (something we, ladies, are spoon-fed that we never should dare to seek from the guy, cause then we are “needy”).

It doesn’t matter if the guy is dating you (and doesn’t follow through) or simply vaguely invites you to a lunch (and does not follow through)  – these are all aimed to bolster his self-esteem.  You saying ‘Yes’ to anything he eagerly proposes , is essentially what his ego craves.  2 minutes later, he’ll realize he’s not up for the actual effort, so “Wham, Spam – thank you, Ma’am.”  There should be a sign posted next to a man: “Please do not feed Ego – it may bite.”



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