Why Men Want To ‘Casually’ Slip Into a Relationship

After readingCasual Sherry Argov’s  books, which I highly recommend for all the ladies out there [Why Men Love Bitches and Why Men Marry Bitches], I had recently experienced a ‘Revelation’…

I was tipped off that a cute local café-owner had a crush on me, as I attended some events there and worked on my Lenovo a couple of times.  He was acting shy, but kept telling me I should “come more often”.

After a few good conversations, he got comfortable enough with me to suggest ‘watching a movie’ [without ever mentioning the word ‘movie theater’].  He’s a very sweet guy, but has many friend-girls who are in constant ‘need’ of his help. Lol.

So, my ‘spidy-senses’ kicked in and I thought: “Wow, how sneaky… No way I’ll be on his couch, watching a boring flick, as he ‘casually’ tries to put moves on me.”  My idea of a casual date (after reading S.A.)  is: ‘You bring me flowers, and I’ll ‘casually’ let you pay for dinner’.

So why are some me romantically-challenged?

They aren’t.  But, there’s a saying in the Russian language – “Odeyalo na sebya”, which translates as “Pulling the blanket onto your own side”.   Setting the tone, early in the relationship, will affect how it progresses.  So ladies, do realize that your ‘currency’ (no, not sex!) is the same as the man’s you’re dating  – time and attention.

Do not over-give it!   Chances are, you’ve been burnt before, and still can’t place a finger on the true cause.  Throw aside every excuse your ex told you – you likely over-gave/over-accommodated, which in ‘finance-terms’ means you have ‘diluted the value of your stock (by printing more and more)’.  But, as soon as you set your own firm value – lo and behold, the bids from your man will rise.

Continuing with the Finance-analogy (pls, bear with me for a sec):

When a guy asks a girl out (early dating), he’s placing his ‘bids’ – “would you like to…?”, “wouldn’t it be fun if we…?”, “I have feelings for you, what do you think of X…?”, generally lowering his ‘bids’ over time, to where he would like the ‘price’ of the relationship settle.

The girl is usually the ‘clearing house’ – accept, reject, negotiate.  It’s a tall order.   But if you do set a firm value on yourself – you won’t have to.  He’ll have to ‘pay in full’ for your time and attention, without trying to ‘time the market’.  [Let me know if further explanation is necessary for non-finance majors, as it can be confusing.]

How to play the dating ‘market’:

In my case, of the cute café-owner, who asked me to “come more often”;  instead I appeared sporadically and unpredictably.  I dress like I’m not from these country-parts (glam biz-attire always works), and I demonstrated that I can swing my samurai katanas (with just random sticks I found at that place, lol)…  And no word form me partaking in ‘films&chips’ dates!

As long as you are not like ‘every other girl he met before’, you are a high-value stock worth watching.  Do not under-estimate this; he’ll be drawn to you if you are the opposite (of monotony [of even a self-proclaimed party-animal] of his daily routine).  He’ll want you, when you represent something he does not have in his life, but would absolutely love to.

Off with global economy (and the ‘dog-eat-dog’ sentiment)… Let’s rig this ‘Stock Market’ to boost your ‘Stock Price’. 😉

Let me know your thoughts, comments, etc… below.

Yours Truly,

Alessante

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