Before we bash them for being the self-centered egoists, let us acknowledge that men have been socialized early on to not display emotions (they still feel them, like us – it’s just not socially acceptable to spill them out or seek direct reassurance). So, let’s break-down a man’s ‘emotional code’, shall we?
“I really like you”
He’ll have no problem saying this to a girl, but he’ll rarely ask “Do you really really like me???”. No, what he’ll do is check out another woman at a restaurant, just as you be telling an interesting story… Why? He’s fully expecting the ‘are you f*ing serious?’ look on your face. If he gets it – he’ll know you care about him. Also, pouting and silent treatment accomplishes the same goal. However… he holds you to a double standard: should you check out another man, he’ll think you’re not trust-worthy. Game Over.
“I’m busy, can we get together some time later?”
This one is a classic. He’s hoping you’ll be thinking [and expressing] “WTF are you so busy with? We always have a great time together!” If you allude to this statement – again, he’ll get the satisfaction that you care about him. Meanwhile, he’ll feel important and [importantly] ‘in control’. This game of course can and should be played by both sides – after all, he started it. 😉
“My job is really stressing me out, need a change; can I go home with you tonight?”
This one applies to ‘commuter-girls’ who date a ‘city-boy’. This message is quite transparent: “I want sex tonight!” Do not be sympathetic to him being worn out and ‘rejuvenating’ at your suburban/country residence. Give him the best excuse – “I’m sorry you are so stressed, but my house is being treated for termites, so I’m staying with my mother.”
“I have [cough] true feelings for you”
This one is also as classic as a dry martini… Translation from M to F dictionary: “I think it’s time we have sex.” This usually happens on date #3 (lol, whoever wrote the ‘rule-book’, man…). The only ‘feelings’ after a short period… are in his trousers, so ‘buyer-be-ware’, and tell him “thank you, I enjoy getting to know about you, too.” Like a thawed champagne ice-bucket down his pants. Congrats!
“I don’t do this just for anybody, you know?”
Ah, yes – the ‘hero’ complex… If he drives out of his way to see you, or does something for you as a favor… buyer-be-ware. If he says it – it means “girl, you owe me [usually sex]”. If your man [or,a to-be-man] ever pulls this line on you??? Take out a Ben Franking or an Andrew Jackson (whatever the occasion calls for), hand it to him and thank him for his time. Then, sit back and watch his ego fly around the room like a burst helium balloon.
And for the Finale: “I Miss You.”
Really? If he’s been a decent man – should these words come out of the blue? No, they should not! This usually means: “Hey, hun, I’m bored – what are you up to tonight?” Best response is along lines: “Yeah, I know how it feels – I miss my cat Sparky…Sigh.” And, just in case, he won’t get the hint and come back with “yeah, I miss Sparky, too”. Be sure to remind him, the phantom Sparky and him never actually met.
My Ladies – you deserve all the Love in this world. But it seems we are ‘forced’ to play a game of skill for it.