Why Men Play ‘Hot and Cold” (When They’re Truly Interested)

So, a great guy can be himself around you, when the two of you are alone.   But, add some audience – and he pretends not to know your name.  If this sounds familiar to you (and you’re past 7th grade), you might be asking: “Dude, WTF?”.   And rightfully so.

For example, today – my cute café-owner, barely managed to speak “hi” and “hey” to me, in a group of 4 women at a ‘Collage event’.  I was bored most of the  time, but managed to create a Pegasus ‘Archetype Suit’ – La Liberte, et l’assistance des deux!

PegasusThe moment I walked in (and I was late), he exited the group and parked himself at the furthest table to do some ‘work’.  I played it cool “Could I have another iced tea?” Fin.  So what would make him turn from a social creature to a workaholic-introvert?

Vulnerability

It’s a commonly tossed word around the relationship discussions on the web, but if we look at its Latin origin, meaning being ‘open to wounds’.   In their sane mind, who would want that?? And, yet… this is where our deepest attachments lead us, so it’s not uncommon to try and resist this cruel nature.  As well as for those, that could be our significant others.

What-ev, Hot and Cold – What to Do?

I feel we empathized enough with the vulnerable feelings, and if our paramour decides to continue his ‘game’ of hot & cold, we just stay ‘constant’ – luke-warm.  “Can I get another iced-tea?”.

Men don’t play games consciously, [though some do], it’s a defense mechanism first of all, to let you BE the EMOTIONAL one in the dating.  So, he can make his decisions LOGICALLY.  By staying Luke-warm, he has no idea where he stands with you.

But I can almost guarantee [and I’ll let it be known], the next time I meet the café-owner (with no excess familiar audience), he’ll be planted at my table…  Hoping to get a grip on where he stands with me.   I do not wish to punish him for my ex’s errors or for being unreasonable, but I do intend on being the luke-warm girl (he encouraged), until he can prove to me he’s worth my time, attention and affection.  Until then, I’m just another [allegedly, pretty client] “Another iced tea, pls!”.]

Yours Truly,

Alessante

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